The Royal Couple

History has it that the Royal couple has been playing in NUSS jackpot rooms for more than 25 years…from the humble Amara Hotel Clubhouse to Orchard Cineleisure Clubhouse and then to Suntec City Clubhouse / Adam Road Clubhouse.

I first met the Royal Couple in 1995 in Orchard Cineleisure Clubhouse. In those days, the Samurai machines were extremely popular. Of course, Her Majesty will be “whacking” the Samurai while His Majesty was walloping the Thunderheart (a.k.a. “Mother Machine” – see photo inset).

It was no secret that the Royal Couple changed an average of 10 bags every day – a princely sum equivalent to $5000 a day!!! Use your fucking brains to do some simple mathematics and you will know why I propose that they should be “HONOURED” by NUSS!

GIVE THEM LIFE MEMBERSHIP! GIVE THEM 3 MEALS A DAY FREE OF CHARGE EVERYDAY! GIVE THEM ANY DAMN THING THAT THEY WANT!!!

On the flip side, curious observers like me wonder where the fuck this couple get so much money to donate to NUSS! Was it “blood” money? Was it “laundering”? Was it an inheritance that they received? Up to this day, no one can be certain of the source!

However, one thing I am 100% certain is that the Scavengers KNOW that His Majesty loves the Thunderheart machine! So without fail, in Singapore-style cheapo queuing fashion, these Scavengers (eg. Frizzy Hair and her “friend”, the “Benz” couple, the “Talk-Cock Remiser - which I will write about in another post) will be observing His Majesty like CROWS! Slowly but surely, more and more scavengers start appearing and would play 3 lines 1 credit as opposed to His Majesty’s maximum-credit style of playing. You can guess what happen next…

Surprising some 3 months ago, the Royal Couple had miraculously “disappeared” from the NUSS Jackpot scene! No one knows the exact reasons. Have they lost everything they have after 25 years of jackpotting? Did the 4 Heavenly Kings impair them psychologically at Adam Jackpot Room? Or have they move on to other clubs (NB : We all know that NUSS Jackpot payout rate is one of the worst amongst all clubs in Singapore!).

Well, whatever the reasons, the Royal Couple’s disappearance will definitely cause the NUSS balance sheet to dive southwards! Does the super-ignorant NUSS management care? Well, maybe they should send one of the high-brow committee members to have a chat with the Royal Couple! This is what I call quality service which the Club lacks!

To the Royal Couple, I have an advice in Latin for you if you guys are playing jackpot elsewhere or intend to come back to the NUSS jackpot rooms…

Hannibal ante portas! In English - it means Hannibal (ie., enemy/danger) is at the doors!